that’s probably a lie. i see them anyway.

so then what do i do? go get coffee with timothy gannon and unload on him. i do feel bad for timothy. because i hate romantic comedies. they fuck with me. lots. because they give me unrealistic expectations of what men should do. as their title suggests, they romanticize life into something that it could never possibly hope to be in a high comedy fashion, creating zany never – could – happen – in – real – life – but – trick – you – into – thinking – they – could situations and giving you false hope that your future could indeed include a quaint cottage in surrey with jude law. or even better, a palatial home in los angeles with sensitive composer jack black.

fuckers.

no such fate awaits any of us. the best we can do is muddle through life being bitter, someday realizing that we need to stop supporting the romantic comedy as a genre. we should support other things, like… the harry potter franchise. a recut of the lord of the rings trilogy. hell, finding nemo 2: nemo gets lost for another fucking time. things that are blatantly fantasy, as opposed to fantasy cleverly disguised as real life therefore once again tricking you into thinking it can happen to you.

yes.

i am done.

i had 5 cups of coffee with tim tonight. i’m clearly not in a proper frame of mind to exist.

i love you all.